Me and Bipolar, Bipolar and Me

I was looking through my journal today at past entries and it’s always sobering to know that being bipolar is a journey, and truthfully speaking, it is a part of my everyday life.  It took me years to come to that realization.  I use to think that once an  episode was over, bipolar was over for me.  And very early on, I actually would think it was gone forever!  So far, it always comes back one way or another, I finally accept that, but I always come back to myself…thank God!

The more I learn about bipolar and me, and the more I hear the story of others living with bipolar, the more I share my story the more real it is.  It may sound sadistic, but when I hear someone’s story, I get excited!  It means someone understands what a dark hole is.  It means they know what victory and overcoming is.  It can even be a shoulder to cry on. The times when I have to be hospitalized, I meet people with similar symptoms, roadblocks, challenges and episodes which gives me a familiarity with them.  We understand each other, in some ways, more than the doctors!  Especially if the doctor in not bipolar.  How could he understand?  Sure he understands the science of it all, but to actually know?  Only those of us who are living this life can ever totally understand and that’s ok.

There are many good stories along my life’s journey which are not completely consumed with bipolar.  One of the most important things I have learned is that my self-worth is not wrapped up in bipolar.  I have bipolar, bipolar does not have me!

 

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Express Yourself

Bipolar disorder affects more than 2 million Americans.  About 3 of every 100 adults.  It affects people without regard to age, race, ethnicity, gender, education or occupation.  If you suffer with bipolar disorder you are not alone, though you may feel like it.  Your family may not understand what is happening.  And you may not understand what is happening.  Talking is one of the most important ways of expressing and understanding.  This blog is a place where you, your family and friends can express anything bipolar-good, bad, happy or sad!  Having an episode? Feeling just fine? Post it! Although symptoms may not be the same for everyone, you can share your experiences, thoughts, your highs and low’s with people who can relate to what you’re going through.  Sometimes it is helpful to know you’re not alone.

Welcome to “Bipolar Expressions” where we share hope and encouragement, love and understanding.

Peace and love,

~Merdis~

Held Back By Fear

 

The hardest thing to do was to write this post because of fear and anxiety, fear that no one wanted to hear about a bipolar crisis, anxiety because of fear that no one would understand a bipolar crisis.  I would come into my office, sit at my desk and get an immediate headache, nothing would come, as if I was not bipolar and had nothing to say!  As if I knew nothing about being bipolar at all!  The truth is, after being bipolar for more than 20 years, I must overcome my fears and deal with the anxiety. the reason for this blog in the first place is not to be taken over by bipolar symptoms, but to “express” them, to understand them as they are expressed in this blog.  My prayer is that this blog will give those living with bipolar disorder a louder voice and a longer arm to reach those who want and need a better understanding and a deeper look into the journey of a bipolar life that millions  suffer with today.  We all want to be heard and understood.  Are you bipolar?  want to express yourself as a bipolar person?  Know someone who is bipolar?  Want to express your feelings about it?  You are invited to write your post…